Just Can't Understand
by Vheeri The Succubus
Summary: A series of drabbles revolving around how everyone views the Boss, or how they can't seem to understand him rather. Rated for language.
1. Shaundi

Just Can't Understand: Shaundi and Fashion

Shaundi couldn't fully understand the Boss for the life of her. Though she could write a ten page list on all the things that baffled her, his sense of fashion was what really made her want to think.

The man wore high heels everywhere, rain or shine. And they were never simple heels either; they were always the kind with too many straps and added several inches to a person's height. She had tried a pair, after a quick visit to Planet Saints, and took them right off. They were far from comfortable, and she knew after a few minutes her feet would be killing her. At least the pair she wore had enough support to keep her from falling over.

But the Boss could sprint all over town non-stop with them on, murdering Morning Star all the way. Try as she could, Shaundi couldn't even keep up with him half the time. If he didn't occasionally stop every few blocks, she'd just steal a damn bike and ride next to him. It didn't help he wore the most outrageous clothing, if any, with them. Women's shirts, bras, thongs, dresses, and even the tightest pairs of shorts she hadn't even seen whores wear.

Once again, she found herself curious as to how she would look in a rather cute outfit she saw the Boss wearing. Leather and Lace seemed to be his favorite store, but after just looking at those death traps called clothing she left. It didn't help he looked so damn good in them. After tearing through of Steelport, nearly the whole city seemed to think so too… for some odd reason. Then again, leave it to the Boss to shake his ass in front of a damn enemy Decker and receive applause in return.

A/N: These will all be pretty short, and this authors note will be the longest you'll see. It's even longer than the fic.

Anyway.

All my stories will be on hiatus until further notice. My profile updates will be, well, updates. Thanks to One Piece and Saints Row 3 being so fun, I haven't really been caring about writing. But after doing the Kill Killbane ending for SR3, well, that shit was deep yo. After playing it, I got really curious about SR fanfiction. As I expected there wasn't a lot. So until I get tired of it, I'll just be clearing out the ideas that are clogged up in my head. Like this one.

On a more important note relevant to this, I'm basing the Boss off of my character, the male (Australian personality). If anyone wants to see him I'll be uploading videos of him on my YouTube.

Odd note. I keep spelling Shaundi as Shaundie.


	2. Pierce

Just Can't Understand: Pierce and Getting Around

Pierce had been with the Boss for a long time, but he still didn't get how he could have such terrible driving skills. He broke just about every driving rule possible every time he got behind the wheel. Not only that, he'd drive just about anything until it burst into flames. Busses, vans, even stolen hearses. Though he shouldn't be surprised, the Boss was even worse with bikes. Pierce watched at times when he knocked random people off theirs. After about a few yards, the Boss would go flying in the air after crashing into nearly anything that wasn't air.

"Practice makes perfect." He'd say after shrugging and getting right back on.

What made things even more confusing was the Boss' near perfect flying skills. As soon as he had the location, he'd get there without a scratch no matter how far they had to go. Unless he was purposefully being a dick and nearly crashing into skyscrapers, anything he flew was always returned to the garage with nearly little to no dust.

Natural skill be damned. Nobody should be that talented at flying a Specter for the first time when the people intended to use it had most likely been training for years.

A/N: Those Kenshin are extremely hard to handle. Just know I haven't played SR 1 or 2 so I only know what I've seen from 3. I also want to do each Homie, but I may have to play for another 100 hours and use them all in combat to fully understand them. Like Viola and Kenzie.


	3. Oleg

Just Can't Understand: Oleg and strength

Oleg was like the personification of physical strength. He could tackle speeding cars, shrug off bullets, and throw fully armed people as though they didn't weigh more than a feather. His existence was no less than astounding. Yet the Boss managed to shock him every time they met.

He could toss the people he used as human shields for meters, merely stumble slightly when hit by direct explosions, and barely flinched when shot right in the chest. Enemies of the Saints would try electrocution, or even fire and the Boss would just turn as though someone tapped him on the shoulder, and put a few dozen bullets right into their skulls. Sometimes adding a few more to make a bloody mess and smile about it.

After the Syndicate took his DNA and made all of those countless Brutes in his image, Oleg found himself responsible for getting rid of the abominations one by one. Yet the Boss would sprint right in front of him and take them on all by himself.

Oleg wouldn't comment on it to anyone, but he did overhear the Boss mention wanting a Brute as a bodyguard. Another thing he just couldn't wrap his mind around. He liked killing people, and had the strength of Achilles to do it. Though perhaps he just wanted a meat shield for entertainment.

Regardless, Oleg respected him all the same.

A/N: I think I'm gonna go play some more SR3…. While using Viola and Kenzie in combat.


	4. Viola

A/N: First day of classes. Ugh… What a WTF day. But this was written in a notebook on that first day, now it's the second week. Been awhile eh? Anyway, I still haven't played SR3 with Viola but I still have a grasp on her character… Holy shit my writing is terrible. Guess that comes from months without picking up a pencil and paper.

Viola and Acquaintances

Viola had been working with crime lords and gangs all her life. She had even come to understand each of them completely and almost nothing surprised her. Even her sister's unfortunate death wasn't a complete shock. But she just couldn't understand the Boss. To call him a mystery would be the understatement of the century. He was more predictable than a loose cannon. At times, she didn't even know how she was able to stand by his side without running away. Then again he was on her side so that was a slight assurance.

The Boss was one of a kind, and not really in a socially acceptable way. True living a life of crime wasn't the most honorable of things, but the Boss was really something else. The man liked to kill for sport and not just a merciful bullet to the head or plain beat down. He'd use a taser gun or one of those EMP bombs to murder bystanders for no explainable reason. Sometimes even wounding his own followers and having them kill one another. From what she'd picked up from Shaundi, Johnny Gat was a bit of the same, taking pleasure in murder. Yet he still wasn't as extreme as the Boss. Viola didn't even think Professor Genki could make his level of insane, and that was saying something.

Regardless, she had seen plenty of twisted shit in her lifetime so she could handle it. It still made her nervous though.


	5. Kenzie

A/N: Best thing about reading and writing fanfiction, it looks like I'm doing actual school work in the lab so they won't kick me out XD This one's pretty weak, but it's all I got after playing with her.

Kenzie and Knowledge

Kenzie, for once, didn't understand herself. The Boss was insane, yet she'd answer his every call. She remembered the first time he called her for help. He was all the way across the city while she was monitoring some security feeds from the Deckers. She had been a bit frustrated but she found herself grabbing her shotgun before she even knew it.

After a rather reckless drive, it turned out he didn't even need her. As much as she wanted to go back to her technological heaven, she didn't/ Kenzie stuck with the rampaging psychopath for the whole day. Even after shouting at him for driving like a bat out of Hell, which he ignored, she'd only sigh and kept shooting at the cops tailing them.

Maybe she'd write a program that could analyze her brain and tell her why she followed the Boss. After all, she couldn't begin to start on her own.


	6. Angel

Angel and Pride

After his loss to Killbane, Angel's pride had been wounded to the point of him feeling like nothing. He kept training nearly non-stop to keep himself busy and not think about his loss, but it didn't help much. Then the Boss came along.

Angel didn't think much of the man until he claimed that he'd defeat Killbane himself. His nonchalant yet aggressive attitude was the first thing that threw him off. After all, you didn't just go against Killbane without having a bit of fear in you. The Boss was strong, but he couldn't really believe him to win.

And then he did. He defeated Killbane with hat came attitude even while removing his mask. To him, it just seemed like another day. The Boss didn't celebrate, or show any sign of really caring for his achievement. Nothing in his entire life had confused him more than that. A Luchadore's mask was everything, and the Boss made it clear he understood. But his utter lack of caring would forever be a mystery to him.

A/N: I was completely unsure of how to do this one. And I may set this to Complete if I can't think of anything for Zimos. He's the most laid back of them all and in every situation, he just smiles and acts like nothing's wrong. Must be a pimp thing.


	7. Burt Reynolds

A/N: Long wait, yeah- I know. But after playing with Burt Reynolds and Josh, I got an idea as to what to write. I actually spent more time trying to come up with a theme for Reynolds rather than what to write actually… Please don't hate me for this one.

Burt Reynolds and Guns

Burt Reynolds was by no means in his early twenties anymore, but he sure as hell wasn't a bent over old man. He knew how to live life to the fullest, and could take on anything thrown at him. He was the mayor after all. Regardless of physical capabilities, he was also quite wise. It was a part of life to learn new things and remember them. But if there was one thing he couldn't understand, it was how youngsters these days chose to rely on guns so much. Mainly the Boss.

If the guy was in a pinch and called him up, he'd answer and go out to have some good quality fun. The man would whip out two SMGs and get to shooting as soon as he got there. Burt Reynolds preferred to give an old fashioned beat down, but no matter how much advice he'd give to the Boss, there'd always be a gun in his hand. It was a bit amusing to see him apologize like a kid after he gave the Boss some advice.

Fists or steel, it didn't really matter as long as he was having fun.


	8. Josh Birk

A/N: A thanks to MDGeistMD02 for this idea actually. This one was actually easier than I thought since Josh talks so much when you have him as a homie. I wanted to keep things ending neutral, but this one revolves around the Save Shaundi end.

Josh and Fame

Josh Birk was an absolute genius, and famous to boot. He had the eyes of a hawk, and could understand anything that he saw. With his god like beauty, he was basically perfect. But for some reason he couldn't fully understand how the Boss didn't see this. He was famous as well, and was a celebrity almost at his level thanks to Gangsters in Space. Yet he refused being his leading stunt man or even a cameo in Nyte Blade. Surely everyone wanted to bask in his glory.

There were times when they'd drive together, and the Boss would ram his car onto another on _his_ side of the car. He almost got a scar on his face because of it. Yelling didn't do much, or asking nicely, or profusely. After all, Josh Birk didn't beg. It was like he didn't even care about being famous at all. But that couldn't truly be the case. Maybe it was his intense aura that distracted him to the point of nearly blowing his head off with a grenade launcher or running their car off the expressway and into a field of Zombie actors. That had to be it.


End file.
